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2003-11-01
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Road to Discovery

Summary:

After the mayhem at Clayton Falls, Blair gives Jim a piece of his mind.

Notes:

Moonridge Auction story for Janet K. Many thanks to her for bidding and helping out the Moonridge wolves.

Thanks to Mary for the beta.

Work Text:

Road to Discovery

by krisser

 

Simon closed his cellphone before he shared his findings, “Well, state patrol captured Fisker's men at the airstrip. Although the Treasury Department doesn't agree with your methods, Jim, they do thank you for destroying their old bills.

The veterinarian smiled her relief at the news, then asked, curious, “So it's back to Cascade?”

Jim shrugged and suggested, resigned to the company, “Well, actually, I thought we could all do some fishing tomorrow.”

Linda added, “And I'm in. I'll spring for breakfast.”

Jim nodded, “Great.”

Simon chuckled, “No, thank you. I think I prefer the mayhem of the city.”

Jim looked over at Blair.

Blair shook his head, “Uh... I think I'm down with the mayhem.”

Standing next to Linda, Jim watched them walk away, “I finally shook them.”

--------

Blair followed Simon to his vehicle, muttering to himself all the while. He was more put out at Jim’s attitude than he realized. He had heard Jim’s parting comment and that had set his thoughts spinning in a direction that he didn’t care for; anger.

“Simon, I think I’m gonna stay. Have a good trip back.” He didn’t wait for Simon’s comment. Blair stalked back to the inn where they had found Jim this morning. Damn! Was it only this morning? He found his partner unpacking his gear in a fresh room.

“Sandburg, you forget something?” Jim looked up from the dresser. He had most of the clothes he brought folded neatly.

Blair stood there, arms akimbo and let loose. “I’m poisoned while I’m here and nearly die. Sick as a dog, I still back you as you find mayhem all on your own, and you bitch, yet again, about the sentinel thing. Ya know, Jim, I didn’t make you a sentinel, you were born that way. I’m doing the best I can. I study the sentinel thing to make it easier for you. To help you. I have made improvements that no doctor could have found. Your quality of life is greatly improved since you came online. Give me a break.” He paced back and forth in the small room, “You try placating me with ‘You've made this sentinel thing work and I appreciate that.’ Then you complain in the same breath that I’m always around, observing. Well, Jim, how in the hell do you think I was able to come up with all the help thus far? There isn’t a manual for this stuff.”

Blair paused, recalling another guide’s words, “Incacha said a sentinel will always be a sentinel -- if he chooses to be. If you really don’t want to be one then just quit.” Blair shook his head, slightly bewildered. “I thought you were okay with this…lately, you even seemed to embrace your abilities. Guess I was wrong.” Blair turned to walk away, but stopped to look back at Jim, “Take this time to decide what you really want. I’m going back, look for my own place, you obviously need the space. Later, Jim.” The Sentinel’s Guide walked away without a backward glance.

Jim watched after Blair, somewhat pissed at his guide, this wasn’t his fault. All he had wanted was some down time. He didn’t ask for all this grief. Blair wouldn’t have become ill if he had stayed at home. That was his own fault for following Simon.

Damn! He was going fishing.
-------

Sandburg walked out of town. He didn’t look at the people returning to their home, he ignore the nodded thanks, he just wanted out of this hellhole.

Blair was pissed. Partly at himself, but mostly at Jim.

Damn him. After all this time you’d think he would appreciate all his senses could do. Did he really forget how many people he’s saved because of them? Including Simon and Daryl? Blair raged to himself as the town grew smaller behind him.

He was angry with himself for letting Simon talk him into coming up here. Angry because he kept hoping to find something that just wasn’t there. One of many things he had to face.

But for once, most of his anger was directed at Jim. He didn’t feel guilty for letting loose on him. Jim needed to face his own home truths and Blair figured that he was one of a few that could actually deliver them.

Jim was going to have to think long and hard before he would resume their work. First, though, he would have to find a new place to stay. His step faltered, that was a depressing thought, but what could he do? He was not going to put up with Jim’s crap anymore.

Blair finally found himself up on the main road. He stuck out his thumb at the passing motorist; hopefully, he could hitch a ride out of this stupid canyon.

After forty minutes of sporadic traffic, a VW van slowed down and offered the lone hitchhiker a ride. With a quick look back in the direction he’d come, Blair turned and smiled his thanks at the driver. He then opened the van door and got in.

--------------

Fishing wasn’t doing it. He couldn’t get Blair’s parting words out of his head. ‘Take this time to decide what you really want.’

‘What I want?’ Jim asked himself, ‘To be a good detective.’

‘And that’s changed?’ His argumentative inner voice challenged.

‘I worked on my own for years.’

‘And that’s necessary to be a good detective? Working with Sandburg hasn’t increased your case closure rate.’

‘Yes, well….’

‘Then what do you fear?’

‘Hey, I’ve answered this before.’

‘What do you fear?’

‘Okay, I fear... lots of things.’

‘What do you fear?’

‘As before, I fear the responsibility that comes of being a sentinel.’

‘Then the answer is the same as before - Sentinel or not, your responsibility is to be accountable for your actions and to learn from your mistakes just like any man.’

‘And my senses?’

‘Reject them and the responsibility remains, just like before, as it always will be.’

When the third day of introspection didn’t yield any more enlightenment than the last two, Jim knew it was time to head home and do what he didn’t want to do, confront the issue with Blair.

He packed his bag, tried to pay his bill, but was pushed away as the town was grateful. He said good bye to Linda and headed home.

Jim pulled out his cellphone as the lights of Cascade came into view. He hit the speed-dial for Blair but received an out of service message. The loft phone was picked up by the answering machine so he punched in Simon’s number.

Simon picked up on the first ring. “Banks.”

“Hey, Simon, do you know where Sandburg is?”

“No, and that’s the problem. Where are you? And how soon can you be here?”

“Outside of town, twenty minutes. What happened?” Jim barked the questions.

“That’s just it, we don’t know for sure, just supposition.” Simon didn’t want to share his thoughts over the phone.

Jim heard the disquiet in his boss’s voice and stomped on the accelerator.

---------

Blair kept his eyes closed as he repeated he personal mantra – Jim will come – Jim will come. He just had to work at staying alive that long.

---------

Jim ignored the greetings and stares as he entered the bullpen of Major Crime at full speed. He made a steady beeline for Simon’s office. He nodded at Taggert, seated by the window, but kept his eyes focused on his captain.

“What happened to Sandburg?” Jim demanded first thing.

“Sit down, Jim.” Banks waved his detective down and cut off the question he saw forming. “Here’s what we know. Sandburg called me Thursday night, all he said was Simon and then nothing further. But he never disconnected the call. We traced it twenty five miles south of Clayton Falls, along the Balmic Highway. I sent Brown and Rafe. They found the phone, but no sign of Sandburg and no sign of any disturbance.”

“Show me where, maybe I can.” Jim’s voice was deep and emphatic as he offered his sentinel abilities without thought.

“Slow down a minute,” the Captain paused, not liking the prospect of sharing the conclusions that had already been drawn. Simon shook his head as he muttered to himself, “I don’t know how he does it,” then louder, “We fear that Sandburg’s been picked up by the Hitchhiker Killer.”

“WHAT?” Jim jumped up without a place to go.

Joel continued, “A serial killer that has struck in Idaho, Oregon and now, Washington. All we’ve got is a VW bus driven by a hippie who picks up hitchhikers and then some hundred miles later they are found dead by the side of the road.”

“How?” Jim asked dead-voiced.

“Several different M.O.s, but each victim has a stab wound of some kind, not necessarily fatal. Same knife is used in each case and the witnesses to the pick-ups all describe the same van.” Joel was reading from a report.

“The FBI task force believe it’s a woman. One victim was strangled and the handprint was relatively small. Two victims were stabbed, three were bludgeoned and one may or may not have been pushed out of a moving vehicle,” Simon shrugged, “He could have jumped.”

“All men?”

“Yes, all between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five. All long hair, like…”

“Sandburg’s.” Jim rubbed his face with one hand, “Tell me the place, I’m going out there. I may be able to pick up something.”

“How do I explain that to the task force?” Simon inquired.

“I don’t care. I’m not sitting back, doing nothing. Have the FBI rescued anyone alive yet?”

Banks shook his head in the negative.

“I’m going out there.”

Simon handed his detective a paper, he had expected this all along. “Here’s where Brown found the cellphone.”

-------

Blair felt the blood ooze from another superficial cut. “Jim will come, you know, just let me go now and he probably won’t kill you.”

“Oh, shut up,” she produced another hypo.

Blair felt consciousness slip away.

-------

Jim stopped off at the loft to change his clothes and get to a back-up weapon and additional ammunition. He punched the new-messages button on the answering machine, hoping for but receiving nothing from Blair. It bothered him that Blair had never even tried to call. Ellison squelched his heavy heart and headed straight back out.

Instead of beginning with the phone site, Jim started at the highway outside of Clayton Falls. He found a faint whiff of Blair’s scent. He cataloged the other scents with equal strength in case they could help narrow down the eventual direction.

He drove out to the area where Brown had found Blair’s phone. He searched the area for similar scents and found Blair’s. He also picked up the same burnt oil smell from the initial pick-up point. There was another lighter, flowery odor, too. It seemed folded in with the burnt oil.

Ellison found he wasn’t in the least surprised to find Simon Banks already on site. He joined him to share his findings.

The FBI agents working the scene noted the man with the vacant stare and figured they had another lookie-loo. Simon interceded, showed his credentials and explained that Sandburg was one of his men. With a sharp reminder to stay out of the cordoned area, the agents ignored the Cascade men.

One of Blair’s lessons played in his memory, he remembered the instruction verbatim.

“Remember, you’re better than a bloodhound and they can track a scent for miles with just a whiff. Well, you, too, my friend, can do the same, probably better. You just need to concentrate, then isolate the single scent you need.”

The Sentinel did exactly as the guide had instructed. He found Blair’s scent, isolated it and ignored all the others. His fear-based adrenaline for Blair’s life kept the Sentinel from zoning on the single stimuli.

Simon drove behind the walking man, knowing no other way to help.

After a quarter mile, Jim stopped, signaled Simon close and got into the passenger seat. “The scent goes straight for about ten miles. I’ll tell you where to stop.”

Without needless words, Simon complied. The FBI personnel didn’t even note their departure.

Jim didn’t see the scenery, he kept the scent line firmly focused in his mind, but it didn’t keep his thoughts at bay. They seemed to be arguing.

‘Forensics and science aren’t tracking Blair now, only the sentinel skills seem to be doing that, so why diss them?’

‘I was a good detective before the sentinel thing kicked in...’

‘Not implying you weren't!’

‘...And I'll be a good detective if it never comes back. I shouldn’t be dependent on them, they can dessert me.’

‘What is this “they“ and “me“ crap? They are you. This “stuff“ isn’t a separate entity, it is you, a part of you all of your life. Just because your old man denied them, hid from them, doesn’t mean you should. Face it like the man you claim to be. You can choose not to be a sentinel, but actually, you still will be a sentinel, it’s in the chromosomes, man, part of your entire being. And of course you’re dependent on them because you depend on yourself all the time … not separate, all the same. You, them, them you, it’s all you. … …Who’s going to save Blair?’

“I am.” Jim said aloud, he paused, “Turn here. Stop. The scent … shit.”

Simon felt Jim stiffen, watched his skin pale, “What?”

“I smell blood. Blair’s blood.” The Sentinel forced the scent back and concentrated on the scent he wanted to follow. He pointed for Simon, “There, up that canyon.”

Simon didn’t bother asking if his detective was sure, he knew he was, Jim wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Blair. He wondered if Jim knew how far gone he was over the grad student.

Jim’s thoughts oddly mirrored some of Simon’s. He knew that the scent of Blair’s blood could be crippling to him. He had to force what it could mean to the back of his mind. It actually helped that the argumentative voice was back. It attacked him.

‘Sandburg is just another victim, why should his blood affect you so?’

‘He’s my partner and friend.’

‘A friend you told to get out of your face, out of your life.’

‘Not out of my life. Never said that. Never meant that.’

‘Whoa, a bit rabid there. Why not out of your life? He’s the guide, attached only by the sentinel stuff you hate.’

‘He’s not there just because of the sentinel stuff. He’s there because he’s my friend, too.

‘And friends haven’t deserted you before?’

‘Blair’s different.’

‘Different, yeah, a hippie-punk, a man out for his own end. You’re a paper, his dissertation.’

‘Wrong! He had enough to publicize over a year ago, he told me that himself. He won’t publicize.’

‘Well, insert snort here. Why ever not?’

‘Said he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to work with me anymore. He’s loyal.’

‘So is a dog.’

‘STOP. Blair is a friend, partner, companion for life.

‘Companion for life – now he really sounds like a dog. You going to chain him in at night?’

‘No, he’s free to come and go.’

‘Then he will. He’ll get tired of you. They all do.’

‘Not Blair. … I don’t want him to.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because…’

“Simon, stop here, the scent is strong, the blood smells much more potent. He’s around here.”

“Which direction?”

The Sentinel concentrated hard on just Blair’s scent and could almost see where his guide was. He opened his hearing and the sound of Blair’s voice rambling on was music to his ears. He turned to Simon, “He’s alive, he’s still alive,” the relief almost palatable. “There’s a building on the other side of that grove of trees. I’m going in.” Jim checked his gun and clip of extra ammo.

Simon nodded, knowing it was useless to argue. “I’ll call the FBI for back up, this is their case, after all.” Simon watched his detective move silently through the trees until he was out of sight. Then he put his call in for back up.

Once he confirmed the coordinates with Agent Pasquel, Simon followed Jim. His man might need immediate back up.
---------

Jim followed Blair’s voice. His guide was relating an aboriginal tale. He couldn’t remember if Blair had actually been there or not, but it was very entertaining. Although, Blair’s host didn’t seem to think so, she was screaming at Blair to shut up unless he wanted to beg for his life.

The ex-ranger’s covert ops skills got him into the building with out a sound. From a high vantage point he dropped down and subdued the assailant without incident. He handcuffed the now unconscious woman. He turned to Blair, sentinel searching his condition.

Although he was tied to the wall and bleeding, Blair had a smile for Jim. “I knew you’d get here.”

Jim stared. It wasn’t loyalty, it was faith. Blair had absolute faith in him, no one had ever given him that. Even angry, Blair had kept that faith.

“Count on it, Chief.”

“Every time. What took ya? I was running out of stories.”

Jim let the handcuffed woman lie where she went down and moved to Blair’s side. He took out his knife and cut the ropes binding his guide. “Just found out today that you were missing.”

“Didn’t Simon call you?”

“Gray zone for cellphones, Darwin.” Jim paused and added in a curious tone, “You didn’t call the loft.”

“Knew you weren’t there. Knew Simon always had his cell.”

“Blair, I…”

Simon entered, “FBI’s on the way.”

The sounds of the approaching helicopter altered Jim to the immediate advent of the FBI’s company. “They’re here.”

Blair rubbed his wrists as Jim freed his ankles. Simon checked on the slowing reviving woman.

The FBI swarmed the building only to find the situation under control. The killer caught, the victim saved and their help not really needed. They took over anyway.

Pasquel turned to Captain Banks, “Just how did your man find this place?”

“Army Ranger tracking skills. Sandburg left clues he could follow.” Simon was saved from having to add more as the woman shouted in anger.

“I don’t understand it, he wouldn’t beg for his life. He just kept talking. He would repeat that Jim would be here soon and then tell some god-awful story, one right after the other, he wouldn’t stop. He was supposed to beg, he ruined everything, he needed to beg me for his life, but, no, Mr. Motormouth, there, was telling me about some native in Oingo-Boingo or the like. The only peace and quiet I got was when I drugged him, But I couldn’t kill him before he begged me for his life,” she fought her cuffs as she screamed, “He needed to beg for his life,” she switched back to her rambling, But, no, motormouth wouldn’t beg…”

An FBI agent carted her off, her ranting never lessening even as they closed the car door.

Captain Banks stopped Agent Pasquel from confronting Blair and deflected the FBI team away from his men. With guaranteed assurances to Pasquel, Banks approached Ellison and Sandburg.

“Tomorrow is soon enough for the FBI to get Sandburg’s story. Get him checked out and then take him home.” Simon fished out his keys, “Here, take my car, I’ll get a ride back to yours. It’s the least they can do, seeing as how we solved the case for them.”

----

Jim was glad to see Blair doze on the drive back. He looked as if he could use the rest. He wasn’t sure about the drugs used but his senses told him that otherwise his guide was not seriously injured.

He still marveled at the faith Blair held. ‘Where does that kind of faith come from?” Jim questioned himself on the drive to the hospital.

‘You’d know if you if you’d search yourself honestly.’

It didn’t take long when he tried it. ‘Blair loves me?’

‘Of course he does.’

‘But what kind of love are we talking about?’

‘The kind that binds you … forever.’

‘The romantic kind. … But, but we’re men.’

‘Yeah, does that matter?’

‘Guess not,’ as his body chimed in its two cents. ‘ That means that I love him in return?

‘Does it?’

He turned to check on Blair when he felt him move. He found two blue eyes watching intently. The answer was there.

“You love me.” He ignored Blair’s stiffening form beside him. “I just figured that out. What’s even more amazing, I just figured out that I love you, too. Not just the brother stuff, but the forever kind of stuff.”

“You talking about altering the sleeping arrangements?”

“Yeah, that kind of stuff.”

“And to think I thought you missed the clue bus.”

“Oh, I did. I just got it back there, when you said you expected me. I’m not used to that kind of faith and it made me think.”

“Always suspected you could if you gave it a try.” The smile on Blair’s face reached ear to ear. He could hardly take it in. He hadn’t expected this from Jim. Dreamed of it, yes, just never expected it.

“You were right you know.” Jim felt he should own up to it all.

“Of course. About what exactly?” Blair added as he smiled at Jim.

“The senses are a part of me, a part I’m glad I had today, they saved your life. I’m not separate from them and I’ll try to act like it. What I do know for sure, I need you beside me, sharing all this shit with me.” Jim smiled a soft smile, a smile that only Blair got to see.

Blair understood all Jim wasn’t saying and figured he always would. He liked the sound of that.

Jim pulled off the side of the road, out of view of any traffic. He turned and Blair met him half way for the kiss. A first kiss that held joy and a promise for the future.

Jim’s face was flushed when he lifted his head, he felt like he was flying. He figured that he wore the same dopey grin that Blair did. “It’s never been this much, not even before…”

Blair cut him off by nibbling at the side of Jim’s lips, not wanting too move to far away from them. He could read desire and excitement in his partner’s eyes. He explored the lips again thoroughly before whispering, “If you think the kiss is more intense, just wait ‘til I show you what else your senses can do.”

The promise of a lifetime was enough to get Jim back on the road. Get Blair checked out, then home for both of them, together. This time the little voice just smiled.

 

fin